


lost

by ambiguously



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Ben Solo Is Seventeen, Double Penetration, Extremely Dubious Consent, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Something Made Them Do It, Threesome - M/M/M, Uncle/Nephew Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-13 01:35:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20574299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambiguously/pseuds/ambiguously
Summary: Luke takes Ben and Jacen on an expedition.





	lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fairleigh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairleigh/gifts).

Luke Skywalker led the way through the chilly and misty bracken, and Jacen trudged along several paces behind. Ben walked between them, because if he didn't stay where one or both of them could see him, the Force only knew what mess he'd get himself into this time. Jacen watched the back of Ben's head, noting how the shaggy, dark hair bounced with each step he took and with every movement of his head as he looked around them in curiosity. Any minute now, he was going to spy some viscous mold clinging to a stunted tree, both vermillion in their decay, and he'd stop and ask Luke what it was. Again. And Jacen would have to resist the urge to smack him. Again.

He didn't hate Ben, not as such. Mom kept in touch with all her friends from the Rebellion, and if she stayed closer to the ones with the Force, no one questioned why. She'd encouraged Jacen to play with Leia's son whenever they went to visit. Jacen didn't want to play with a toddler who still wore diapers, and as they grew, he didn't want to play with a little kid when he was almost twelve and nearly as tall as his mother. He wanted to talk to Luke, whom he'd known his whole life and who always had made time for him. Luke made Jacen feel like he was a part of the Jedi lineage instead of some weird freak, and his smiles when Jacen did a new trick filled his whole belly with warmth. But no, Jacen had to play with Ben, who only wanted to play Pilots and Imps over and over.

A piece of guilt floated up in his mind, like a flake of peel in a suspicious stew. Luke had always made time for Jacen when he probably wanted to spend time with the adults instead. There was a lesson in that, and he didn't like the feeling that he was figuring it out ten years too late.

"What's that, Uncle Luke?"

They stopped. Of course they stopped. Luke always stopped to answer, and that was why this expedition was taking so long.

"It's another tree," Jacen said under his breath, but in the deep, silent mists, the words carried. This earned him a sullen glare from two sets of eyes. He didn't often seen the resemblance between the two, but for a moment he could tell they were family. "Sorry," he said, and he resisted the urge to sink into his robe.

Luke turned from their path. This would take even longer before they could finish and return to the ship, get a proper, solid deck under their feet, and breathe decent, recirculated air. Thanks, Ben, he thought and managed to keep inside. Not his fault if either of them were reading minds today.

Luke ran his hand over the slimy bark of the tree, which looked like every other slimy tree they'd passed. "Interesting." He crouched down, examining the roots.

While Luke's back was turned to them, Ben turned and grinned at Jacen. Jacen clenched his teeth and didn't respond.

Hating Ben would be like hating a lothcat. The cat couldn't help its nature, whether it was chasing a flutterbee or clawing his leg. Ben couldn't help being fascinated with everything around him. Luke had said Ben's powers were much stronger than Jacen's, leaving him open to every possible physical and mental stimulus the Force offered. As it was, Jacen had spent his life too aware of the living beings surrounding him, knowing the shapes and flows of the worlds they visited by the topography behind his own eyelids long before he set foot there. Here in the dank half-light of this swampy forest, he was aware of the trees, the skittering insects, and the lonely cries of the small birds that fed on them. He'd learned to tune that noise out. Ben couldn't, and he reacted to the onslaught of information with a mixture of nerdy interest and responsive anger, lashing out at the painful sensations bombarding him.

"Ben got in trouble again," Jacen had said at the beginning of this trip, even before Luke told him.

"I think a trip away would be good for him," Luke had replied, and he'd given Jacen one of his brightest smiles, the kind that gave Jacen a flip in his stomach. "Those texts Ahsoka gave me mentioned several sites where the old Jedi traveled. I believe there may be more to learn there. I'd like you to come with us."

Of course he'd agreed. Who would say no to Luke Skywalker? Everyone said this was a great step for him, and said it was time Jacen focused on learning the ways of the Force in earnest. Luke hadn't formally taken on the pair of them as his students, but he would when their journey was finished, and that was their lives settled. Hello, destiny.

Jacen had assumed destiny would involve more lightsabers and less slime.

Ben crouched down beside his uncle, closing his eyes as he touched the tree. Jacen lingered back, instinct telling him to stand watch. Now that he'd stopped filtering out the noise, he sensed the same thing that had caught Ben's attention. The Force was unusually strong here, down at the root of the tree.

He would have passed by and missed it. He soothed himself with the reminder that Luke would have done the same.

"It's here," said Luke. He unshouldered his pack, pulling out a hand-sized trowel. With great care, he excavated the soil by the roots, leaving the gross, decaying tree unharmed. Ben leaned in for a better look. Jacen wanted to go over, but stayed where he was, casting the occasional glance out into the mists.

A creepy sensation grew at the back of his neck. "Anyone else getting a bad feeling all of a sudden?"

Ben's hand darted into the hole Luke had dug. He pulled out a mud-encrusted stone which emanated a peculiar power. Luke took it from him, examining it closely before his eyes darted up to Ben's. "Great job, Ben."

His nephew gave an awkward shrug at the praise. "Do you think it's important?"

"I don't know yet. I can feel something." Luke stowed the rock in his bag, wiped his hands on his trousers, and stood. "Let's keep going. If either of you feels something else, let me know. We have a lot of ground to cover before it gets dark." 

The bad feeling continued, but Jacen told himself it was nothing more than mild jealousy over Ben's discovery. They returned to their slog through the mist, the ground under their feet turning marshy as they went. The wet soaked into their boots. The clammy air smelled of rot. Now that Jacen allowed his powers to reach out, everything living and dying around them filled him with an anxious, oppressive fear. Jedi may have traveled here long ago, but they had not been welcome guests.

Their path, originally marked in faded ink in some dusty old book, was set out before them on the datapad in Luke's hand. At several points, he paused, held it up where Jacen could see, and turned a few degrees to the left or right. Ben followed eagerly, still on the lookout for more artifacts so he could show off. Jacen followed reluctantly, his boots full of cold mud and his nose growing stuffed in a mild reaction to the mold spores in the air.

They traveled upwards now. The land grew drier and more firm with every step. At last, the maze of trees broke atop a small hump of a hill covered with moss. The distant star this world circled broke through the misty cover around them, offering a pale, slanting light more comforting than the eerie half-darkness they had walked through here to find their destination. Around and below, steamy gray vapors stretched out like a sea of cloud, hovering over and disguising the vegetation, appearing almost solid enough to walk upon if he stepped his foot out to try. Sunset approached. He imagined the clouds creeping up the hill after dark, closing in around them like a rope.

Luke paced the ground, examining the patterns in the moss, Ben at his side, either doing the same or acting like he was. Jacen closed his eyes, reaching out with his own powers, although of course he wasn't as gifted as Ben, he wouldn't have the same luck as Ben, Ben had all this Skywalker destiny piled up inside him and flowing through his veins and would have found something if something was there to find.

"There," he said, and his eyes snapped open to see his own finger pointing at a spot a few degrees off the center of the hummock. The feeling pulsed at him.

"Are you sure?" Luke asked. He hadn't asked Ben when it had been his turn to find something. Whatever it was pulsed harder inside Jacen's brain.

"Positive." He had his own digging tools in his pack. He unslung it and pushed past the blankets and change of clothes to where he'd placed the lightweight alum-alloy tools. Without waiting for them, he shoved the end of his spade into the soft moss, releasing an earthy, pungent smell as he shoved into the ground beneath. A small clump came up.

"Like this," Luke said, and his voice was kind as he took the spade from Jacen's hands, showing him the best way to dig down and get leverage. Jacen almost snapped at him, but Luke hadn't grown up with metal deckplates under his feet. He'd been a farmer.

"Thanks." He took the shovel back, brushing Luke's fingers as he did. A fleeting sweetness passed through him, which he ignored as he bent to dig.

It was completely normal, Ahsoka had told him years ago when he'd run to hide in a cargo compartment of the ship, embarrassed and horrified with himself. Others with the Force were rare. A thrilling warmth passed through you when you met another like you, or when you touched someone you knew unexpectedly. Back at the Jedi Temple, she'd said, the young padawans were taught this early, and their minds learned to tell their bodies how to handle those feelings rather than the other way around. Children raised outside the Temple had to learn the hard way. He shouldn't feel shame when something natural happened. He merely needed to learn control when it did. Jacen was sure Luke had never popped an inconvenient half-boner when he'd met another Jedi, but he wasn't going to ask. Grudgingly, he admitted it must have been worse for Ben growing up. None of the Force-sensitives Jacen knew were his own blood relatives.

Jacen had learned that control with guidance soon after. He wondered who had guided Ben after the first time he flooded with unwanted desire for his own mother or his uncle. Had anyone taken him aside and explained, or did he still have moments when his pants constricted as his mother petted his hair? Did he still, in the depths of his own shame, retire to his bunk with his hand on himself, thinking about Luke? Or, and this had not occurred to him before though it probably should have, Jacen? Ben was seventeen, which had been the high point for Jacen's nightly dates with his own palm, but he didn't know if the timing or urgency was different for full humans.

About a foot down, Jacen's shovel hit something hard.

"What is it?" Ben asked, crowding in. His close proximity did not help matters right now.

"I'm not sure," said Luke, and he crouched down, his own hand-trowel moving aside the last of the dirt. "I can feel it now."

"I think I can, too," said Ben. Jacen didn't roll his eyes, but he came close. The pulse from the item throbbed behind his right eye. How could they not feel it?

Luke retrieved what they'd found: a second rock, much like the first. There was less mud here, and the dry dirt fell off with a brush of Luke's hand. Markings lay underneath, strange and undecipherable.

"What is that thing?" Jacen asked.

Luke said, "I suppose we'll find out." He glanced into the hole, then closed his eyes and reached out. "Nothing else is down there as far as I can tell. Jace, can you take a look?"

Obediently, he shut his eyes and searched with his mind. The only things he felt were the stone in Luke's pack and the stone in his hand. "Nothing else."

"Right." He stood, and the pops in his knees were audible. "Let's make camp here. We'll head back in the morning. Ben, please fill in the hole so none of us breaks an ankle in the night. Jace, can you help me with the tent?"

Jacen caught the glare from Ben, and let himself enjoy it, joining Luke at a reasonably flat portion of the hillside to set up shelter. They'd camped on other worlds, and he'd only pinched his fingers twice. They spread the bedrolls two atop each other, and left the blankets for cover, emerging as Ben finished patting down the moss. The ground stunk worse than ever, and they'd be sleeping here when all Jacen wanted was a wash and a nice, firm bunk where he could get his head down alone.

Darkness fell slowly, crouching over them. The mists stayed below, but the clouds overhead were too thick for stars. A quiet homesickness touched him as Luke pulled out the stove and lit it, illuminating the top of the hummock.

Ben dug into his uncle's pack, retrieving the rock he'd found. By the light of the camp stove, he brushed off the mud. "Look, I think it's the same markings."

"That's likely," said Luke, and he picked up the other stone, holding it next to the first.

The bad feeling from before raced back. Before he could draw breath to speak, Ben and Luke had leaned closer together. The stones touched.

At first, nothing happened. The pair of them examined their findings, comparing the unreadable scratchings on one to the other. Jacen told himself to relax.

Then he felt it. This wasn't mind-reading, as much as they all joked. Only in rare instances did the Force allow communication between minds. But they could sense a shift in one another's emotions, especially when in close proximity over days and weeks. Ahsoka had said that by the end of an apprenticeship, many masters and padawans did not have to speak to know what the other was feeling, and they moved in perfect synchronicity. She hadn't reached that stage with her own master, she told him when he'd asked, and her face was sad, the way it always got when she spoke about Anakin Skywalker.

Jacen felt the emotions of the two Skywalkers with him now, spiralling in weird cacophony. He knew those emotions, too, had been ignoring their pull ever since they'd dug up the first stone. Jedi practiced control over their bodies, and they understood their own minds. They did not allow their emotions to dominate them, or let lust cloud their logic. They also weren't supposed to fall in love or have children. How many other lies had they all told themselves over the years? How many padawans, awash in their own soup of hormones and unexpected need, had reached out to their masters the way Ben's hand trembled now, reaching to stroke Luke's face? How many masters, telling themselves they knew better, placed a warm palm over that hand, and squeezed, and pulled their young charge closer for a kiss?

He stood transfixed by the sight of them locked in embrace, their bare emotions spilling over to drench him. Luke's face lit with radiant wonder, pressing his lips against Ben's more awkward though eager response. They were beautiful, and this was wrong.

"Stop it," Jacen said, his paralysis broken. He darted to them, pushing uncle and nephew apart, aware of the feelings neither hid now, as visible as the solid bulges growing at each crotch. "This isn't you. It's the artifacts." The Jedi who'd been here before had buried them far from one other. Jacen snatched them from Luke and Ben, holding one in each hand like two live wires passing their current through him and grounding their energy in his groin.

His last coherent thought was the observation that contact wasn't needed between the stones after all.

The rest of the evening was lost in impression, scent, taste. Jacen had never wondered what Ben's mouth tasted like. Even in his nights alone, furiously masturbating under his blankets as a parade of faces crossed his mind, he hadn't imagined what Ben's cock would taste of. He had imagined both for Luke, and the sweat-salt of the skin covering Luke's balls matched the fantasy in Jacen's mind from years back. The good, warm flesh smell filled his nose as he licked, and his own skin burned where Ben pressed against him, on his knees beside Jacen as his lips stretched around the girth of his uncle's dick. Jacen's left hand fell to his own lap, stroking himself without rhythm, while the forefinger of his right hand tickled between Luke's asscheeks, probing the furled skin of his hole.

Luke's moans carried in the thin, misty air. He pushed Ben's head away, stepped back from Jacen, his eyes as clouded as the sky, making a last stab at sanity. Ben sat back heavily, staring up at his uncle. Jacen half-collapsed beside him. Their hands touched, sending a new thrill between them. Ben kissed him hard.

The mist crept in over the slope of the hill, but Ben's body was warm as they tussled and rubbed together, Ben's hands clumsy on his cock, Jacen far more assured running his fingertips along the warm skin at the crease of Ben's thighs. Jacen had lost his virginity back at the Academy. His scintillating, sparking brain told him Luke's innocence had been lost the day Jacen had been born. Ben lost his now, pressed against Jacen's chest, whimpering and squeezing his eyes shut as his uncle fucked into him slowly. Jacen kissed his eyelids.

The worst part, best part, scariest part of all, was that he could feel everything. He felt Ben's stretching pain, the wrecking intimacy of the intrusion as Luke filled him, and he felt Luke's pleasure when his cock pushed past the tight ring of muscle and into the welcoming hot clench of Ben's ass, using his nephew's own slobbered spit for lubrication. He knew they both felt the same things, fucking and being split open at once. Ben's hands fell to either side, too caught up in himself to keep touching Jacen. Luke held still inside him for what felt like forever, letting Ben shift, before he set up a rhythm, pushing into Ben's back, which drove him against Jacen's chest.

Moss only looked soft. His back ached, and each thrust brought new scratches. Slivered thoughts remembered there was a bedroll close by, but the thoughts flittered away under the enormity of each sensation.

Tears dripped down Ben's face, falling off his nose and splashing onto Jacen's face. He'd wanted this for so long, and hated himself for wanting it. They both did. Two sets of terrible guilt opened wide inside Jacen's head: Ben spending every night wishing for his uncle's attention, Luke waking up to spoiled sheets and the remnants of dreams he never dared share in the light of day with either of his two best friends.

It was too much to take in. Jacen grabbed for Ben's face and kissed him, drowning himself in gutteral sensation instead. Ben had wanted him too, idly and angrily, another buzzing nightmare to torture him with feelings no one had explained as he teetered between the commune of like spirits and the rutting of atavistic lust. Lust was enough for tonight, enough for Jacen to spit-slick his own hand and pump Ben's cock, enjoying the look in his eyes.

More, he heard Ben beg in their shared minds. A very descriptive image followed. You can't, Luke thought, but the image burned inside his head, and he groaned, thrusting harder.

Jacen was past thought. He shoved his hand against Ben's mouth, nearly choking him. Ben licked his palm until he was as slimy as one of the horrible trees below. It had to be enough. Jacen rubbed the wet on himself, hissing in the pleasure of his own hand before settling his body to the angle he'd need.

Luke pulled out, and a moment later, Jacen's cock slammed into Ben without hesitation or finesse. Luke had loosened the way. Jacen was narrower than either of them, a disappointing inheritance from his Twi'lek side. Before Ben's body relaxed, Luke placed the head of his cock against the stretched opening and pushed his way back inside.

Ben screamed. Jacen caught his lower lip in his teeth, holding Ben in place with his mouth and his arms as he squirmed. The tight fit between Luke's cock and Jacen's, gripped together with the spasms inside Ben, consumed all three with pleasure even as they shared the stretching pain.

Luke started to move, his dick rubbing deliciously against Jacen's, while Ben sobbed his moans into Jacen's mouth. His nerves scorched and surged towards the end he could feel in both of them as they took turns pulling back and thrusting in. Jacen was aware of nothing except the sensations in his own body and in theirs; the hard ground and the cold mist and the unseen stars themselves were forgotten, were unimportant. He was inside Ben's skin, and he was inside Luke's skin, and his own skin thrummed with a solid electricity as he howled, coming hard and shoving the two of them over the edge with him. Ben's ass filled with wet, and with still more as Luke came. The space between them grew sticky as Ben's cock spurted.

Luke pulled out first, and Jacen followed. Through the link they shared, they felt the wet dribbling out of Ben's body. He was sore, and they were sore. At the edge of his lingering sanity, he felt the vague horror blooming inside both minds at what they'd done. Ben crawled like a wounded animal into the tent, where he collapsed, shivering. Luke stayed where he was, cold shock on his face.

"Ben?" Jacen asked, and it was almost a curse. He went into the tent.

The stones pulsed again before he could think of what to say, and thought became impossible. He rolled Ben by the shoulders onto his back and kissed him. Luke entered the tent behind him.

The three fell upon one other once more.

*

By morning, the madness had passed. Their bedrolls were ruined with spunk and not a little blood. Jacen had scratches and bruises all over. He couldn't feel Ben's mind, not more than the usual wave of emotions, and he didn't have the heart to ask him how he felt. He didn't need to read Luke's mind to see the sick dread.

They made their way back to the ship without speaking, because what words would be appropriate here and now? As soon as the hatch closed, Jacen breathed in the recycled air with deep gratitude.

"I'll take you both home," Luke said, the first he'd spoken since last night. He settled at the ship's controls, his hands trembling. "We should stop at a medical center first."

"We haven't completed our mission," Ben said. "There are five more worlds to visit, and I thought we agreed I was going to be your apprentice when we were done."

"Ben." His voice was rough. "I need to take you home and get away from you. I'm so sorry."

Jacen sat in an empty seat with some discomfort, watching Ben's temper rise, climbing with red anger over his pale, injured skin.

"You're running away? Just like that?"

"I can't risk your safety again. Your parents trusted me to take care of you both, and I betrayed that trust."

Jacen said, "I'm older than you were when you blew up the Death Star. I'm not some little kid you have to protect."

"I'm not a kid, either," Ben said, despite the evidence.

Luke said, "I am responsible for you both. What happened yesterday...."

Jacen said, "Was something you both wanted for years. All three of us know that now."

"That's not the point."

"Why isn't it?" asked Ben. "You wanted me. I wanted you. Why can't it be that simple?"

"You know why it can't." Luke's face had aged ten years in a day. Haggard with lack of sleep and deep guilt, he stared at his nephew. "Not only are we family, not only are you a child, it's against the Jedi's rules."

Jacen folded his arms. "You and I wouldn't be here if the Jedi kept that rule better. I have no interest in keeping it. Sex is fun. Last night was fun." He flinched. "Mostly."

"Being a Jedi isn't about having fun, Jace."

"It doesn't have to mean no fun, either. If we're the only ones left, we set the rules about what Jedi do. Everyone else who wanted a vote already opted out of being a Jedi."

Ben said, "I like the rule saying we can have sex."

"This is not a committee," Luke said. For a moment, Jacen felt another emotion from him, one lost and sad and sweet and full of longing, like a scrap of half-remembered song or the scent of someone's hair.

"I'm not a child," Ben said, "and family means we love each other." He stepped closer to Luke, wincing as he moved. Jacen expected him to try to convince his uncle again, not to grab his face and kiss him. Luke went to push him away and instead drew him closer.

Bruises, scratches, and guilt aside, they were beautiful as they had been last night. Jacen watched, entranced. The stones were far away, both thrown as far away in opposite directions as Luke's arm could send them. Nothing drew them to each other except themselves.

This was never going to work. It had bad idea written in dark pen all over it. But as Jacen approached, and placed his hand against the skin of Ben's neck, and pressed his lips against his head, he chose not to care.


End file.
